I loved this book and I LOVED this movie. So, the guy in this date will be known as Conor. I will be known as Alex, since I was actually the voice of reason in this scenario and wanted to bail 5 times over the 7 weeks from our first text. My friends will be known as Gigi, the chick who just couldn’t pick up on the cues that Conor just wasn’t that into her.
Conor was my first match on Bumble. He literally had to teach me how to use the app. I didn’t even know how to open a picture (another one who wanted to send pictures- NO!) but the PG ones he sent were fine. Conor is good looking, comes with kids (a plus since I don’t want to physically have any), has a job that keeps him very busy (a super plus because I am super busy and travel a lot which is a turn off to needy guys), just moved into a house that isn’t too far, so I could actually foresee this as being a good match.
Connor liked to text. He would text in the morning. He would text midday. He would text at night. These were primarily checking in, seeing how my day was, and early on ‘schooling me on how to respond to him on Bumble like, “u can say, ‘hey hotstuff anything fun planned for the weekend? That shows interest but isn’t asking for a date but let’s me know you are thinking ahead.” I responded with, “Hey hot stuff, I’m going to Atlanta this weekend for a speaking gig. Hopefully you’re doing something equally fun. You might want to consider asking me out next week…” you get the picture. When I asked him how I did, he said awesome and that I was a fast learner. Yet, he didn’t ask me out, nor did I hear from him for a couple of days because he was unpacking.
GiGi: Hey, he just moved and he is unpacking.
Alex: He’s just not that into you.
Eight days go by of texting. Still hasn’t asked me out but is asking for pictures.
GiGi: He is busy with work and his kids, at least he wants to see pictures of you.
Alex: He’s just not that into you.
So after a few more days, I ask if he’s going to keep asking for pictures or if he’s eventually going to want to see me in person. He asks “what’s ur weekend,” not to be confused with asking me out. I tell him my plans because I’m going out of town. He is driving down past my area and would love to see my smile in person. He’s not sure which day he is driving down, but will keep me posted… he did not keep me posted.
GiGi: Hey, got busy and forgot to respond because he wasn’t coming down until Saturday when you would have been gone.
Alex: He’s just not that into you.
At that point, I gave him my number so we could get off the stupid dating site and my hope was that he would actually use the number to call me because at this point, I was ready to pass on this guy, BUT my friends would not let me. So, we continued on… texting. At least he initiated the first text. And on we went for another week, with no invitation to meet… unless you count when I got out of yoga and he invited me to his house to join him in his hot tub. It was tempting because after two weeks I just wanted to see if this guy even looked like his pictures! But I didn’t go. He had a great sense of humor, which I have failed to mention, so I took the invitation with a grain of salt… you know, meant to be humorous but if I actually took him up on it he wouldn’t complain.
The next week was more texting and getting to know more about him. His hobbies, his love for his kids, some of his issues that come with being divorced and sharing custody, his job… this guy had A LOT on his plate.
Alex: Yes, he does, but a guy who’s into you finds the time to see you.
GiGi: Oh my gosh, stop rushing him! You haven’t even met yet and you’re writing him off!
Alex: Because he’s just not that into you.
The week continued on with him “hearting” me more and more and now he started getting a little more risqué in his texts. No problem. He was feeling me out, seeing if we were compatible physically. With my track record, I’ve only had the full package once: my first love. Every guy since then has either been an amazing emotional partner but more in the friend zone physically, or simply sizzle and no relationship. I know it’s possible to have both and I was starting to think that Conor was the full package.
As week three was coming to an end, he was sending me selfies that were not as good as his profile pics. That had me concerned that this guy may be good on paper, but I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to him. I really wanted to meet him and be sure that the attraction was there and I wasn’t wasting my time. But he wasn’t asking me out! I was ready to write this guy off but GiGi made me stick with it reminding me of all the reasons he was worth it. I begrudgingly stuck it out.
Finally, on Thursday of week four, he suggested we meet on Sunday. I had plans on Sunday, but I wanted to see this guy in person, so I told him to let me know what time because I had plans but would move them around. He responded, “Deal” but did not keep his end of the deal.
Alex: For crying out loud he’s just not that into you!
Sunday morning I was pissed off. When he finally texted that he was on his way home, I realized he hadn’t come back from his out of town speaking engagement yet. I didn’t care, I was pissed that he hadn’t even brought up that we were supposed to see each other. So, I called him out and texted, “Am I finally going to meet you at some point today?” To my surprise he said yes, and that we could meet for lunch after he landed. I had brunch plans, and I didn’t change them, but I said yes, that I’d meet him, but he’d have to eat alone.
And then we met… I was not disappointed. In fact I was so grateful that I had listened to my friends and not the voice of reason in my head. He was smart, funny, a spectacular dresser, I could feel his rock hard arm through his shirt and was glad he hadn’t sent any “towel shots” because at this point I wanted to rip the shirt off… but slow down, it’s just a first date. The conversation was easy, probably because I did most of the talking since he was eating. When we realized what time it was and that his parking meter had run out of time, we walked to the parking lot and he kissed me goodbye. YUP! This guy was the full package!
The next few days I was like a teenage girl… giddy every time his name popped up on my iPhone. If Siri had eyes, he’d have rolled them. I’m sorry. I have a track record of guys that don’t have their lives together… fixer up-ers as those of you who have followed this blog know, so this was exciting!
I saw him again Tuesday for an hour… hey, we ‘busy people’ have to squeeze in time where we can right? Weyyyyellll…
Week six we didn’t see each other, as I expected. I knew he was going to be busy with his kids and I was content now. I didn’t need to see him now that I knew I was attracted to him. This is where our busy lifestyles would compliment each other. That said, my inner Alex was sending up red flags again.
Alex: his behavior has changed. He’s not really texting.
GiGi: He’s busy give him a break!
Alex: So are you but you’re still thinking about him. He’s just not that into you.
GiGi: CHILL you’ve had one real date! This guy has a life.
Alex: Hmpf (that’s a sound not an acronym).
Two days went by.. nothing. So, I texted to make sure he was okay.
Alex: Desperate move. His behavior says it all. He’s just not that into you.
He texted back “Yes, Just crazy. And I had a platonic movie guest last night. I’m sorry so absent. How’s your day?”
I was going out of town, so I pushed my Alex thoughts aside and went about my out of town business for the next two days. We texted, me initiating, when I finally said, “That’s it! This guy is NOT the full package for me… he’s half the package. I am very attracted to him and that is clouding my judgment!”
My best friend told me I was nuts and to give the guy a break… ENOUGH WITH THE GIGIs!!! I refused to text this guy again.
Well it’s been SIX days and neither of us has contacted the other… I am pretty damned sure that HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO ME… and frankly, I’m no longer into him.
From now on, I’ll listen to my instincts and not my GiGis!
For some lucky girl, he will be her ‘whole package’… but as for me, I’m going to keep looking until I find mine.