photo 6I haven’t been to the Museum of Natural History since I was a kid, and I have to admit, having seen the movie Night At The Museum, it was a very different experience.  Especially, because Larry loves museums so much and was totally into the date.  Of course my first comment was about how I hoped he had a throw toy for the T-Rex (if you don’t get that, in the movie when the T-Rex came to life he was like a puppy, so Ben Stiller had to keep throwing him a toy). The next 45 minutes was Larry sharing his expert knowledge on the exhibits while I imagined them coming to life after the museum closed.

Here are a few of the beasts that concerned me, should we have been stuck after hours…

photo 10 photo 8 Now, the Venus Goddesses photo 9would probably have given us fascinating conversations and advice, although having been around groups of woman, I’m sure each of the three would have had her own strong opinion making the whole dating situation even more confusing.

Maybe the giant orb they were holding would have some magical insight.

But let’s face it, I don’t need advice from Goddesses or magical orbs.  I’m starting to figure this dating thing out.  Larry and I were having fun.  He was in his element since he is very smart and knows a lot of things about a lot of things… including history, he is cute (which helps), and I was my typical goofy self imagining how I was going to be leading adventures once we got locked in and the museum came to life.

There were moments when he’d be telling me a story or I’d be telling one and I’d get distracted by a cool exhibit…. squirrel (oops wrong movie)!

We would have to sit down on a bench and just talk so I could stay focused and listen or finish my own story.  We shared “ex” experiences, because he’s a blog follower so he had some questions.

photo 4There was a lot to see and I discovered that my bones weigh 20 pounds.  I don’t know how that will help me in life but I sure looked excited to find out (I’m giving two thumbs up in the picture).  I also got to see some very old photo 2saddles which made the country girl in me happy.

Then we saw the people who work in the museum doing their thing, excavating bones and stuff.  You photo 3had to read the signs pretty closely to understand what they were doing.  Larry and I both misread this sign to say: “ERIKA is working on Caudal Vertebrae from Utah from a sauropod known as Genitale.” We thought they were making a joke and naming their dinosaur genitalia with prehistoric spelling, but upon closer examination we agreed that they named her Natalie and just put a G in front of it to make it prehistoric.

On that note we went to lunch.

We each had a healthy salad, his landed on my sweater when the wind blew. photo 5Yes it was a dark balsamic vinaigrette.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think my sweater was doing everything in it’s power to break up with me.  Between the vinaigrette stains and the coffee from airplane guy I’m thinking it wants to be retired.  But I love my sweater and I’m not ready to give it up over a few stains that I know Resolve can get out.

Over lunch the conversation got deeper.  He talked about his career path and then he said what I knew was “the moment I knew I was not going to date him”.  Ironically what he said was very romantic but it was the complete opposite of the relationship I want.  He had been telling me about getting his new degree after a successful career in a different field, and how he was considering going in another direction with a third career path.  So I asked him, “Which do you want to focus on?” To which he responded, “I don’t know. My priority is to find a woman to go on the journey with.  I want to find her first because I don’t want to start down a path only to meet someone who would take me on another path.”

I totally get that and think it’s really romantic that he wants to find his mate and have them decide together on which path they want to take off into the sunset.  I HOWEVER, am very clear that I want a man who is set in his path, wildly passionate about what he does, and I would just be making his good life great.  I have spent too many years with guys who were “figuring out where to go next” and being a coach, my nature is to “fix them” whether they want fixing or not.  Look, that’s part of my baggage, and I won’t bring it into a relationship if the “carry-on” doesn’t fit.  So the goal is to find a guy I have no instinctual need to fix.  Perfect example of a “it’s not him, it’s me,” I do NOT want to put myself in that situation again! I won’t.  And the bottom line is I know in my gut that the writing is on the wall.  He is not the one for me (that said, if you are reading this and he sounds like he’s for you, let me know and I’ll play matchmaker).

You also have to understand that I didn’t realize he almost 10 years younger than me.  That’s a huge age gap.  My thirties were a time of figuring things out, my forties are a time of reflecting and being totally honest with myself about what I want and choosing a partner in life for the right reasons.  It’s clear from the dates I’ve been on that I’m going to meet lots of great guys.  That doesn’t mean they are great for me, or I for them.  Trusting my gut is playing a huge part and I’ll know when I find him.  With my first love, I felt it instantly, and that feeling never went away.  I know I will feel that way again one day.  I’m watching it happen before my eyes with someone I love, and seeing her fall in love with the right man brings me so much joy and reminds me to stay the path and I will feel that again.

Or I can go back to the museum and ask the prehistoric crystal ball to simply reveal him to me so I can stop at date #14… photo 1



This entry was posted in Blog and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Good for you! this is profound: “I HOWEVER, am very clear that I want a man who is set in his path, wildly passionate about what he does, and I would just be making his good life great.”

  2. Sue Painter says:

    Cute story. Sorry this one wasn’t a great match, but he sounds like he is smart and entertaining, anyway!

  3. Lisa Manyon says:

    Love your clarity and this says it all ” I HOWEVER, am very clear that I want a man who is set in his path, wildly passionate about what he does, and I would just be making his good life great. ?
    Stay the course. He is OUT there.
    Write on!~

  4. Mitch Tublin says:

    At least you enjoyed the museum. Just another date to pass on to better things.
    Kind of strange though for a guy or anyone, seriously! You figure your stuff out in your twenties and get your career and network going. Sounds like he needs a life
    coach or someone to walk him through some assessment tests. You should focus on the type of man you are really looking for and not waste your time here. Good for you!

  5. You definitely have to follow your gut. Never settle for anyone that doesn’t make your heart sing.

  6. Jessica, I like that you know what you want and you knew Larry wasn’t a match! Good for you.

  7. Larry "Night @ the Museum" says:

    Hey Jessica, wanted to wait before I responded so I could comment logically as oppose to emotionally…First and foremost, any person you end up with will be very lucky…I have to admit it hurt when you did not want a second date, but thoroughly appreciate you taking the time to let me know! Thank you for a wonderful first date though and look forward to building a friendship through our networks and common interests 🙂
    I feel blessed to have multiple career paths to follow, both with extensive networks established…I agree with Mitch that I need a life coach, just want it to be my partner and not hired…I have to many passions to pick just one road and would prefer guidance from the individual who wants to take that journey with me!
    Anybody reading this blog and wants to meet a fun, energetic, and compassionate individual…I highly recommend requesting a date!!!

Leave a Reply