IMG_4131No need to panic! We did not catch a hammerhead shark that roared like a lion (see the movie if you don’t know what I’m referring to)… but there was fishing and there was comedy, so we couldn’t go with Jaws 🙂

I was looking forward to this first date because during our phone conversations, Joe made me laugh so much that he started calling me “Giggles”.  I’ll take it… the jokes and the nickname.

He arrived before me and called to make sure I’d be able to get parking (my friend lives steps from the ocean so I parked at her place).  I told him I was pulling into a spot and would be at the pier momentarily and that I was wearing a cowboy hat.  He said that he was too, “What are the chances?”  I just laughed and it wasn’t until about an hour later that I realized he was not wearing a cowboy hat.  I’m going to have to listen very closely to figure out if this guy is joking or not.  At one point of the date he said, “This was a really good idea.” We hadn’t caught anything at that point so I had to ask, “You’re saying that seriously, right?”  He was.

He gave me the choice to fish off of his boat or the pier.  Normally I’d jump all over the suggestion of a boat, but being a first date I didn’t want it to turn into a Dead Calm date, so I chose the pier.

I have fished before, but Joe informed me I’d been trolling which doesn’t require any skill (or a big strong man behind you to help you handle a pole… that didn’t sound right, but you get the picture.. and I’m referring to the G rated picture, it’s a first date people!). IMG_4133

Our view from the pier was beautiful, and the water was so clear that I could see sting rays, sea turtles, and a giant black fish which some people were calling a shark, but Joe thought he was a grouper.  I called him “Big Black” which I think he liked because he swam around me all day… not biting my line though. Big Black was as smart as he was handsome (I sure hope it wasn’t a female fish). We were using squid and shrimp for bait and the fish were in a feeding frenzy!

IMG_4132This is our frozen bait.  Last week when I told a friend I was going on a fishing date, he said, “A gentleman never lets a woman bait her own hook.”  Well, I wanted to learn to bait my hook, but apparently Joe is a gentleman because he wouldn’t teach me. He said my hands shouldn’t touch squid.  Seeing the black ink spray on his really nice white shirt at the end of the day made me grateful that he was a gentleman.

He did give me a full on lesson though as far as the fishing goes.  I learned the correct way to hold the pole, (apparently there’s more to it than just ‘holding the pole’ who’d a thunk it?) how to keep a finger on the line so I could feel the fish tug, how to pull up on the line when they did so you hook ’em (I never did get that part down), and how to cast my line.  I got better at that as the day progressed… so on target, that I would cast it at Big Black every time he’d swim by, but he was just a big tease, he wouldn’t bite!

I couldn’t believe it when Joe told me it was 4:15!  The day flew by! IMG_4135I mean come on, beautiful ocean, beautiful breeze, under a roof so there was no sun beating down on me, up on a step stool so I could lean over watching the feeding frenzy happening on my bait even though the little suckers wouldn’t get on my hook!  It was just chill, and Joe would lean up against me, and I liked that 🙂

The only thing that was frustrating, was these little kids who were all around and they were catching fish left and right.  It’s like when I’m on a ski slope and I can barely stay on my feet and 6-year-olds are whizzing by with no ski poles. Then, this one little kid walks up and demands my step stool because he’s so much shorter than me.  I couldn’t say no to a short kid in front of Joe, what would he think?  So, I gave the kid my stool and 60 seconds later he had a fish on his line!  What?!?  It’s like sitting at a casino, putting 100 quarters into a machine and the minute you get up, some little old lady puts one quarter in and hits the jack pots. AAAACKKK!

Even with all the chumming Joe did for me, we never caught anything.  But it wasn’t about catching the fish, it was the zen in the art of trying to catch the fish.

Of course after we went out and I had sushi, which we pretended was our ‘catch of the day’ and might I say it was a good catch.  Joe even had the waiter laughing.  He just felt like the kind of guy I would have hung out with in high school. He’s fun, easy going, and very easy to be around. I also like that he volunteers overseas every year and picks up trash so it won’t go into the ocean where the sea turtles might eat it (I was even conscious of the plastic wrapper on the ground by the end of our date, and put it in the trash). And our timing was perfect, because just as we finished our food, we saw clouds that looked like nuclear fallout coming towards us. To the South the sky was beautiful. From the North was coming a raging storm, so we got out of there as he had made an hour trip South to meet me, and it didn’t look like he was going to have a pleasant drive home.

When it was time to say good bye he gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, from which, my dear readers, comes my next question for you…

What are your thoughts on first date kisses? As you know I had the “inappropriate kiss” on my Couples Retreat Date (#4)  and the “stolen kiss” on my Kingpin Date (#3) but other than that, it’s been pretty split between the hug/kiss on the cheek and the straight on kiss on the lips.

Does a guy kissing you on the lips vs the cheek say something about him? I guess what I want to know from the guys out there is, if there is some type of etiquette you go by or significance in your decision? Girls, do you prefer one over the other and why?  Would love your opinion in the comments below…

ps.. I do listen to your comments and I’m going out for date #3 with Happy. Thanks for your advice.

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  1. Sue Painter says:

    The kiss on the first date thing – depends on the guy, I say!

  2. I agree with Sue, totally depends on the guy — and this guy sounds good 🙂

  3. Sounds like it was a great day! I agree with Sue–it depends on the guy. If you’re both feeling it, go for it.

  4. The Geek says:

    Up to you – depends on how you’re feeling it. From a guys standpoint, I don’t like “hard to get” … life is too short. I say if you’re interested, let him know, but don’t necessarily throw yourself. If he’s a real guy, you just have to lean in a little bit or not pull back if HE leans in.

    I’ve had “full on” passionate kisses on the first date and a “I don’t think we’re compatible” via email the next day. So there’s no telling.

    Dating is tough – it’s easy to misrepresent little queues. I wouldn’t sweat it, unless it was a disaster, I think a 2nd date is always warranted. Some people are more reserved than others, and to me this isn’t a red flag either way.

    I usually try for a hug, then a cheek kiss .. then I look at her. Does she pull back? If not, I lean in, and see how she responds.

    That’s if I’m feeling it, but honestly, if I’ve approached a woman, I usually have SOME interest. I think that’s tough for a woman as you get inundated with tons of requests, so maybe you’re a little more in need of some evaluation.

    == The Geek ==

    • jsitomer says:

      Geek, I was wondering more from your perspective, if it means something whether or not you go for the lips or the cheek. Do you think going for the cheek is saying “I’m a gentleman” and want to show you respect on the first date? Or when you go straight for the lips does it mean…”I’ve been staring at those lips all night and you are not getting in that car until I’ve planted one on them!”

  5. The Geek says:

    Hmm …

    From my viewpoint – even if I was really interested, I wouldn’t ever go straight for the lips. I like to go for the cheek, and if she turns slightly to face me THEN I go for the lips. I like that the best as it shows “I really like you, I respect you, but … I really want to kiss you … and I know you want to too!”

    But, it’s a sensitive thing, I only do that if I’ve got a pretty good idea she’s receptive.

    I guess that’s why I like being a guy; it’s a challenge, but it’s fun to be the Captain of the boat.

    Which reminds me of a great saying – but we’re talking about first dates!

    Now, as a counterpoint, my buddy who is QUITE the ladies man (I mean legendary) says he NEVER kisses on the first date. I have to admit, his way probably works – you end up being flustered and wondering … and more likely to be forward on the next date (if there is one, but he keeps a bunch going at once). Whereas my more up front way may leave you thinking “oh, I’ve got to push him back, he’s going too far”.

    Frankly – either way means, try number two and see how it goes!

    == The Geek ==

  6. Ha ha – love your question and rendition of this date – sounded relaxed and natural – nice.
    The kiss depends on the moment I guess and who says there has to be rules and ettiquette? For me personally kissing is an extremely intimate act and so the cheek on date 1 would suffice for me – but I think its a personal preference

  7. Jessica, I have read your blogs several times now and Joe is a winner! First of all he made you laugh. Laughter is the most important asset you can bring to a relationship. Secondly, he was patient. And thirdly, he kissed you on the cheek at the end (swoon!) He did not overstep any boundaries. I can’t wait to hear about Date #2!

  8. He sounds really really nice – and it does depend on the guy!
    PS this sums up fishing to a t …it was the zen in the art of trying to catch the fish!

  9. Mira Dessy says:

    I agree with everyone else, it depends on the guy. But it sounds like you had fun, you laughed, great day, good meal, you made a connection. I think that’s really what it’s all about.

  10. Bill Painter says:

    It all depends on fate
    whether you kiss on the first date,
    Is he weak, if he goes for the cheek?
    You should consider this, if he goes for the lips:
    It’s certainly not a crime if you had a good time.
    The target depends on the Miss, (and how good the kiss).

  11. Mitch Tublin says:

    Sounds like you caught what you were really fishing for on this date.
    First date is a kiss on the cheek and nice hug.

  12. Lisa Manyon says:

    I like the sound of this and I think a kiss on the cheek is sweet and respectful. I’d also LOVE to hear more from the guys because admittedly, I am not an expert in this area and now I’m curious if there’s some kind of secret guy code regarding first date kisses. 😉
    Write on!~

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