I Hope I Didn’t Jinx Myself…

Update: Date #5; Bohdi. I’ve seen him everyday except Tuesday since our surfing date last Saturday. It was the first time in YEARS I had a guy to kiss on New Years Eve! And not just “a” guy, he’s a pretty “great” guy.

So today, while visiting my favorite store in the mall (the Apple Store) I couldn’t help but notice the GIANT SALE sign in the window across the way (Victoria’s Secret)… I shouldn’t have gone in, but it’s a trap… everything is pink! We girls can’t resist pink! I just figured: New Year, new guy… calls for new…. and I left with a big pink bag. Correct me if I’m wrong, but when you go out and buy new lingerie for a guy who hasn’t seen you naked, that’s a jinx right? It means I’ve jinxed myself and now something is going to happen and the guy will never see me naked and the tags will never come off and the prints will go out of style, and I’ll be asking myself, “why, Why, WHY did you buy bras before he even got to second base?!?!?” (and that’s second base as it was established in the 80’s as I have no idea what second base means to today’s generation and frankly I don’t want to know.)

I know what you’re thinking, “Jessica, you’re being neurotic.” But would you be saying that if you and I were sitting in a rowboat, in the ocean, on a picturesque sunny day, and I said, “This is perfect, what could possibly go wrong?” No! You’d throw a life preserver at my head and yell, “Why would you say that?” as the sky turned grey with time capture speed, a large fin started circling the boat, and the only life preserver that we had, bounced off my head and into the water when you threw it at me!

It’s just a pink paper bag, filled with pink tissue paper, and a couple of cute little irresistible items.. and yet, I can’t unpack the bag.  If I put those items in the drawer you know what I could be giving up?

1. He is a black belt in some form of martial arts, which I can not pronounce let alone spell.  And, because of my laser-like probing, he revealed that he can, in fact, do a split on a kitchen counter top like Jean Claude Van Damme in Time Cop.

2. He loves to give massages! I have a text from him (which I will keep forever as evidence) which reads: What you can count on is I will always give you massages. (He actually wrote something even mushier after that but if I tell you, he’ll be afraid that I’m going to “out” him as a romantic to the world, which may discourage future mushy texts.)

3. He has fruit trees. This may not sound like much to give up, but when he told me he has coconut, banana, avocado, mango, and starfruit trees, I immediately started looking up recipes for salads and smoothies.. I NEVER WANT TO COOK FOR ANYONE… I want to make this guy a salad.. trust, me, that’s saying something!

4. He loves roller coasters… I love roller coasters! He’s traveled the country going on different roller coasters. He loves to travel… I’d love to travel.  And he’s been to lots of foreign countries (even some scary ones where you shouldn’t go).  This guy is adventurous, and he is already bringing out a more adventurous side in me (he got me in the ocean on a surf board… 18 years in Los Angeles and I went in the ocean once, and that was only because my first year there a college buddy dragged me in kicking and screaming).

5. He’s a really, Really, REALLY good kisser.. so good in fact, that I got ahead of myself and filled the pink bag!

And so here I am staring at it.. debating… to return or not to return, that is the question. What do you think?

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10 Responses to I Hope I Didn’t Jinx Myself…

  1. Morgana Rae says:

    Keep the undies. Just don’t shave…

  2. Ah, I think you should unpack the bag, take off the tags, and wear those little unmentionables you purchased. It will make YOU feel amazing. That’s what matters most.

  3. Hollie Overton says:

    Do not return it!!!! You deserve not only something pretty to wear but the cute, nice, great guy to wear it for. Don’t think of it as a jinx. Think of it as a smart investment into a new (hopefully) relationship for 2013. And Happy New Year!

  4. Keep the underwear. Wear it. It will undo the jinx if you wear it just for yourself!

  5. The Geek says:

    Terry gives great advise.

    I would say Shave anyway … this guy sounds great!

    And even if the sharks DO circle … let’s face it, most guys really wouldn’t care if the prints are out of style. Most guys wouldn’t even know what’s IN style. And if they do … check to make sure your guy doesn’t have any *really close* guy friends.

    @Morgana – LOL.

    Actually, my last girlfriend tried that, and it didn’t work. So there.

    So I’d say keep the bag! Take the tags off though.

    == The Geek ==

  6. Morgana Rae says:

    Hi Geek. It is a truth universally acknowledged that the one day a girl forgets to shave, intimacy is bound to happen that night.

    And with the right guy, underwear doesn’t stay on long enough for the guy to really appreciate the details.

  7. Deborah says:

    Think of it as a gift for yourself and wear them even when going to the grocery store! It’s so uplifting (ha!) to wear sexy undies every day. And you’ll always be prepared – the adult version of the advice to always wear good undies in case you end up in the emergency room!

  8. Jonathan Tepper says:

    Keep the underwear, leave the cannolis. lol.

  9. Ellen says:

    Keep the pretty things and wear them for yourself. Every girl deserves pretty things. Great post…fingers crossed!!!!

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